Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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