Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
