Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
