if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
