I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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