im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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