you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
