Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
