I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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