i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
