I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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