lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
