you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
love makes seman taste better
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
