I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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