i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize