My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
