We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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