Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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