my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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