he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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