If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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