Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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