I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
