you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
