I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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