he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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