I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
