Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
