Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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