My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
