i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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