TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Boobs are out for the taking
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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