Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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