As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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