return my video game
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
