walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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