Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
