well I can't set my house on fire every night
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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