check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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