a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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