I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I intend to get homeless drunk
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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