I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
