I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
well you can't waste a boner
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We had sex on a dog bed..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
