would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
