This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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