Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
