i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you will always have a special place in my vag
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
