I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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