Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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