your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
