If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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