My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
