Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
