it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
