i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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