ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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