And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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