I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
