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• (312): View more from Illinois

  We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Please dont jizz on my ds screen.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?

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• (619): View more from California

  I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook

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