Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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  (269): I'm on that like soy sauce on rice http://tfl.nu/53vn
  Replies (3) Good night (1489) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

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  (330): when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk http://tfl.nu/57qd
  Replies (7) Good night (1860) Bad night (2020)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

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  (860): isnt it creepy that our bodies make people http://tfl.nu/vg9u
  Replies (98) Good night (6199) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...

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  (713): I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist... http://tfl.nu/i7x2
  Replies (15) Good night (4928) Bad night (923)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing

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  (260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian? (1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing http://tfl.nu/axih
  Replies (51) Good night (18534) Bad night (1492)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?

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  (765): So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night? http://tfl.nu/0nca
  Replies (16) Good night (5115) Bad night (1746)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?

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  (515): Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this? http://tfl.nu/woh0
  Replies (9) Good night (5486) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello

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  (585): Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello http://tfl.nu/squi
  Replies (17) Good night (1132) Bad night (9819)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Wont she be proud, Hailey.

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  (512): Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting. (512): Wont she be proud, Hailey. http://tfl.nu/kwv4
  Replies (8) Good night (1348) Bad night (1658)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?

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  (304): well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out? http://tfl.nu/ogsn
  Replies (9) Good night (1499) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  no way

  (519): View more from Ontario

  that's when i decided you were gonna be okay

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  (519): you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese" (1-519): no way (519): that's when i decided you were gonna be okay http://tfl.nu/clro
  Replies (1) Good night (1649) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"

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  (407): I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse" http://tfl.nu/14wb
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".

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  (+61): You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering". http://tfl.nu/uajx
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too

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  (814): thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too http://tfl.nu/ul0r
  Replies (0) Good night (590) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable

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  (303): If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable http://tfl.nu/85jq
  Replies (0) Good night (297) Bad night (501)

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