Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.

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  (858): the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am. http://tfl.nu/40nx
  Replies (28) Good night (750) Bad night (3145)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.

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  (618): We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him. http://tfl.nu/xg0w
  Replies (23) Good night (10722) Bad night (897)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

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  (757): I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping. http://tfl.nu/aea5
  Replies (30) Good night (3707) Bad night (1423)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.

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  (786): And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots. http://tfl.nu/xlfm
  Replies (3) Good night (3195) Bad night (969)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.

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  (720): Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too. http://tfl.nu/q191
  Replies (12) Good night (2672) Bad night (1070)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.

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  (262): Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour. http://tfl.nu/rkpz
  Replies (5) Good night (2574) Bad night (1097)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.

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  (407): I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls. http://tfl.nu/jhsp
  Replies (6) Good night (1610) Bad night (741)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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  (609): I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything http://tfl.nu/1m1m
  Replies (11) Good night (2115) Bad night (634)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.

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  (971): He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character. http://tfl.nu/w2hk
  Replies (8) Good night (975) Bad night (2306)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.

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  (724): Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome. http://tfl.nu/u2pl
  Replies (5) Good night (1598) Bad night (617)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

  (210): View more from Texas

  No

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  (512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool (210): No http://tfl.nu/m5ry
  Replies (4) Good night (2017) Bad night (603)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like

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  (407): I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like http://tfl.nu/79b0
  Replies (24) Good night (773) Bad night (1259)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Why Weren't you wearing pants?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  because pants are for people with no imagination

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  (416): Why Weren't you wearing pants? (647): because pants are for people with no imagination http://tfl.nu/baiz
  Replies (6) Good night (2463) Bad night (624)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?

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  (847): I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now? http://tfl.nu/ffln
  Replies (0) Good night (689) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you

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  (902): I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished (1-902): I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you http://tfl.nu/66fn
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (330)

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