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• (510): View more from California

  my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Mom wtf!?

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• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I love boston

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.

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• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..

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