So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.