I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
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Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
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I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.