Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
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I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.