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Already got asked if we're dating
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
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