i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED