hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
