we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
