He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
