I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
